I apologize for the lack of Life Chats so far this year. Sometimes when I am going through a lot or when I am consumed with different things I am not always sure what I want the focus of these posts to be. The truth is I was going through something over these last several weeks and I chose to keep that to myself. I’m ready to talk about it now though and decided to because I’m sure that I am not the only one to have ever felt this way and maybe it can help someone who's currently going through it.
I’ve mentioned here and there how I sometimes fall into these ruts and in the last Life Chats I said that I knew it was time to make some changes. There was a deeper meaning behind that and I honestly didn’t know exactly what that meaning was until about two weeks ago. I sort of hit a low point emotionally and I’m happy that I did because it allowed me to figure out the root of whatever has been weighing on my mind and heart. While I do feel happy and positive most of the time, I of course have my moments where I allow negativity to slip through the cracks, just like everyone else. I hate to admit that though because it’s literally poison to the mind. What I realized though and I probably knew it all along was that I really needed to make some lifestyle changes. I went through almost the same thing last year. I guess in some way I tried to ignore it instead of doing something about it. The great thing about hitting a low point is that the only way to go from there is UP and that’s exactly what I did.
Between my trip to Ireland, the holiday season and a lack of motivation from winter, I completely stopped taking care of myself over these last few months and it began to take a toll on me physically, mentally and emotionally. It’s ok to indulge from time to time of course, but the problem is that once I fell off track I just couldn’t figure out how to get back on it. I was eating like crap. I was no longer working out. I honestly just lost motivation to do things and was spending too much time at home. I was going to bed super late and sleeping in longer than I should have. I would wake up and be in such a rush to get things done for the day and that only annoyed me and put me in a bad mood. I was losing some of my inspiration to shoot for the blog and it felt like I was forcing myself to do it. I was not happy with anything that I was doing, but I kept trying to ignore it. I was sleep deprived. I noticed most of my clothes were no longer fitting me. Then I started doubting myself. I started to doubt my work. It was literally just this huge chain effect. It is so crazy how one negative thought about yourself can lead to multiple negative thoughts and it really is just so unhealthy. I honestly have not been this way in a very long time so part of me was just really upset with myself for allowing it to carry on. I loathe negative mentalities and I have just come way too far in my life since my father passed to allow myself to live in that space again. I’m not doing it.
I spent a few days completely alone with my phone off so that I could work through what I was feeling and set some goals and a game plan in motion. The only way to fix things or to change them is to actually do something about it. Feeling sorry for myself was never going to get me anywhere. Our minds are so powerful that we can literally take the smallest thing and turn it into more. We can create something from nothing, which is why it’s so important to be KIND to ourselves. We need to have more faith in our capabilities and our worth. So over the last week and a half I’ve made some serious lifestyle changes and have officially gotten back on track. While it may only be a short amount of time so far, I truthfully feel 100% better. I’ve been waking up an hour earlier every morning and I get my workout in first thing. I am slowly becoming more of a morning person. Who knew?! I am back to my 21-Day Fix program, which helped me tremendously last year, only this time I am going to stick with it for much longer until I hit all of my goals. I’m eating well again and giving my body more of what it needs and less of what it doesn’t. I’m going to bed a little earlier too. I got my motivation back and it feels so good that I can’t believe I ever lost it. The choices we make every day have more of an effect than we realize. We all tend to steer off course from time to time, but the important thing is that we find our way back. If I did, then you can too. That smile up there is genuine. At first I had no idea what photo would even relate to the content of this post, so I just went with something happy and fun because I really am back to that mentality.
There are going to be some big changes happening with the blog very soon too and I am so excited about the new direction that I am going in. I think I was getting into a rut with it because it’s been 4 years and I knew in my heart it was time to make a big change. I am in the beginning stages of everything right now, but my goal is to have it all set by April. I don’t want to spoil it by giving away too many details, but I can’t wait to discuss it more with you all. Overall, I just feel so much lighter emotionally. All of these changes and these new goals for myself have been the best thing that I could have done. It's never an easy thing to open up about my personal struggles, but if these posts can motivate, inspire or help at least one person, then I know it was worth sharing. Cheers to positive lifestyle changes and learning to pick ourselves back up after we have fallen. <3