Sunday, June 17, 2012

Father's Day Tribute

I know this is a fashion blog, but I wouldn't feel right if I didn't do this today.  I lost my father almost two years ago to colon cancer.  It was something very unexpected and the most difficult thing that I have ever had to go through.  After his diagnosis, he fought as hard as he could to beat it for 3 months but the cancer had already spread to his liver and it was too late.  The most difficult thing was to watch him suffer and know that there was nothing I could do to make it all go away.  All I could do was be there every step of the way to show him support and love.  When he started to lose his hair during chemotherapy I cut my hair off because that was the kind of support I wanted to give him. I held his hand all the way through his battle, even till his last breath.  Right before he passed away, he smiled.  He smiled twice.  I find comfort in that memory because I knew in that moment he was no longer suffering and really was going to a better place.

My father was a principle and he truly inspired so many people, especially me.  He continues to inspire me every single day and gives me the strength that I need to live my life without him.  He is the reason I got the word "Inspire" tattooed on my wrist.  It's a daily reminder to me that I need to try and inspire others the way that he did.  That's the kind of legacy that I want to leave behind.  You can be told you're beautiful a thousand times, but for one person to call you an inspiration is the most amazing compliment you could receive.  And I mean it wholeheartedly when I say that my goal with this fashion blog is to inspire.

My dad never got to see this side of me, but he did get the chance to listen to all the music I recorded and he was my biggest fan and supporter.  Even during his treatments, he would tell the nurses and other patients that I was a singer and gave them my website so they could go home and listen to my music. Even during his battle, he still put me first.  That's the kind of man he was and I was truly blessed to have had him as my father.  I'm so grateful for all the big moments in my life that he got to be apart of, but it fills my heart with sadness when I think of all the big moments that are still to come that he won't be here for.  I wish he could see this blog and all of the opportunities that have come from this.  But I know he is watching over me and shining down his love and guidance.  I truly believe that he is my guardian angel.


My sister and I did this photo shoot as a Fathers Day present to my dad when he was sick in 2010.  It was the last Fathers Day that we were able to spend with him.  This photo was meant to give him strength in his weakest moment.  
SAY IT FIGHT IT CURE IT. 



My father in high school.



When I was little.. 





Before he got sick.



2 weeks before his diagnosis





During his treatment, when I cut my hair







"And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count, it's the life in your years."




Happy Father's Day to my beautiful & amazing guardian angel.  Words don't express how much I miss you.  You are my driving force.  I love you!

<3 












18 comments:

  1. Your dad sounded like an amazing man. I'm really sorry that you & your dad & your family had to go through that experience. I'm sure your dad is proud of how creative you are, and how you've continued to keep the creativity going with fashion and not just music. :) Happy father's day to your dad! :) Stay strong!

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    1. He really was! Thank you for your kind words Trinnah! It means a lot! <3

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  2. I bet your dad was a great man. I'm sorry for your loss. He's looking down at you, right now, smiling. Happy fathers day to your and your dad. xoxo

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    1. Thank you so much Darianne. I really appreciate it! xo

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  3. This was a really beautiful entry and I am sorry for your loss. You should take pride in the fact that you are inspirational. I read fashion blogs all day long and yours is definitely one of my absolute favorites. Keep doing what you are doing, your Dad would most certainly be proud.

    xoxo,
    Sara

    www.glamblaze.blogspot.com

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    1. That means a lot to me and I truly appreciate your words! Thank you Sara! xoxo

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  4. Alot of what you mentioned in this post is what I just went through with my dad this past March, I lost him to prostate cancer the hardest thing I ever had to deal with. I use to go to all his treatments and he always told all the nurses and doctors about my business and how well I was doing...... Only thing I could do is shake my head thinking how strong he was dealing with this decease. Anyways I had to comment again sorry for your loss.

    @jaerozay

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    1. I'm so sorry to hear that you had to go through the same thing. It definitely is not easy at all. I can't say that in time you'll heal because I still haven't healed completely, but you do learn to deal with it and continue with your life. And I use the good memories and all the advice he ever gave me to help keep me motivated. Stay strong and know that he is definitely watching over you!

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  5. This is an amazing post Naty. So sorry for your loss! Stay strong, and continue to fulfill your dreams. It's exactly what he would have wanted.

    xo
    Melissa

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    1. Thank you Melissa, I appreciate it! xo

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  6. He is most definitely your guardian angel! XO

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  7. Wow Naty I'm so touched by this post. I'm sure he's proud of you and watching you from above!
    ~Pau

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  8. Awww, man girl that brought tears to my eyes. I am really sorry about losing your father, I can't imagine how it must feel. But you are an inspiration for not only fashion, but living life in general.

    xo
    Nia

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